Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
