I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
