I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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