I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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