When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We just shotgunned beers for America
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
