Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
