Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
