I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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