Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
should my penis look like a turkey
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
