she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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