you win again, gameday.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
