I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
