dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
