Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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