She announced her abortion via fbk
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
