Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
did i just pee glitter
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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