At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
