Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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