I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I need water and some morals
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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