I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
