I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
