Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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