Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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