THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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