I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
