Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she smelled like a LAN party
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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