Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
