Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize