okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
