just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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