3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
