Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
