At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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