my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
