I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
