wake up i wanna do it froggy style
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
