Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
