K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
