I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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