if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
