i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
