I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
