5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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