don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
