HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
