I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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