Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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