Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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