you guys were way drunker than both of me
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
