shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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