there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
