i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
