I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
COCAINE IS GR8
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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