He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
