Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He felt like a one man threesome
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i now understand why vodka
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
