Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
