The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize