I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm like, not good at living.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
