He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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