Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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