I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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