Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
