Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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