We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
