i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
