Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
