Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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