Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I forgot how hot balto sounded
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
