I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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