So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
