Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
