do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
