it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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